It's a beautiful spring afternoon on the Pacific Coast at Montana del Oro State Park in Central California. I am riding with my trail dog Lady and a good friend. This is one of many places I am so blessed to ride several times a week. Once I moved to Northern California the dog changed, the trails got even better, and I found myself riding alone more often. You really build a strong relationship with your horse when you travel hundreds of miles alone together. I was a single parent, going to school full time, it was more convenient to hop on my horse and just go.
Eventually I remarried and my husband's career took us to New Mexico. My horse became extremely ill at the age of 18. She was still going strong up to that point so the sudden illness took me by surprise. She died 2 days later. The vet was not able to help her. I took her death very hard, I considered Fawna a best friend and my reason to keep plowing ahead every day as by this time I had developed several health problems. I believe my pain over losing her directly affected the downhill slide of my health from that point.
I had several surgeries when we moved to East Texas for 3 years. While there I got my migraines under control (from 6 days a week to 1 day a week) through nasal surgery and medication, had my gall bladder removed which helped my stomach pain, and had back surgery to fuse my lower spine. Unfortunately the surgeon damaged nerves in/near my spine and was not able to correct the problem with a 2nd back surgery. So I have permanent painful damage to my back, hips, and legs.
Unable to work, ride, or enjoy the outdoors, I felt useless and without a reason to get up in the mornings. I grappled with God knowing there was a reason he put me in this place. Then one day I saw a bracelet on the cover of a beading magazine and thought it would be a good project to make for my daughter. Around the same time I felt it important to join the Bead Journal Project's third year. I was hooked! With memories of my rides with Fawna now encouraging me instead of taunting me, I had purpose and reason. I also noticed as long as I was concentrating on beading my pain levels decreased.
We have since moved back to New Mexico and I have been blessed here with more beading opportunities, beading friends, sunny skies, and a need to share that you can find a new purpose for your life.
